


Wholesome Serquel in Palawan

by Just_A_Dream09



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28433073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_A_Dream09/pseuds/Just_A_Dream09
Summary: Just a bunch of wholesome one shots of Raquel and Sergio's time in Palawan as they allow themselves to fall in love, be vulnerable and see life in another colour. These stories explore the love and fluff in Serquel's relationship and their growth together in Paradise. Hope you guys enjoy!
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 26
Kudos: 85





	1. A Christmas Eve Night's Serenity

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, Happy New Year!!! In celebration of the festive joy, I challenged myself to attempt writing more and so I decided to give one shots a shot. I thought that some wholesome moments between Serquel is much needed and would spread some warmth and positivity. Most important of all, I have enjoyed and appreciated ALL the stories written on LCDP and they have been a huge part of my life in 2020. Hence I've decided to join the community and try my hand at writing :) Stay healthy and safe everyone <3

Palawan. Paradise on Earth. Especially for a particular couple. Its fine white sands gently caress your feet whilst the lull of the never-ending waves crashing onto the shores whisper tantalisingly and teasingly into your ear, wanting you to drown in addiction and affection with the island so that you will never let it go. 

Right smack in the middle of a private stretch of the island, there sat a house where in the evenings, warm golden light poured out of the windows that stretch from the ceilings to the rustic wooden floors. The white walls of its outer façade paint a modest image, but the interior is nothing short of luxurious. For it was built to welcome the love of the Professor’s life. 

In the living room, a well-decorated Christmas Tree was placed in the corner near the fake fireplace and underneath it sat a mountain of presents, most of them being labelled “Paula”. There’s no place for a fireplace in Palawan but the Professor thought it might delight Paula to have something familiar from her home in Spain in Palawan. Whilst the house was decorated to fit the climate of Palawan and had a mixture of rustic and modern furniture, efforts have clearly been made to liven up the atmosphere for the festive season. Lights in the shape of tiny presents are hung around the ceiling of the house, promising to shower the living room with a warm golden ambience tomorrow night. 

Down the hallway, soft snores are being heard as the incumbents of the 3 large bedrooms sleep peacefully, ignorant to the problems of the world as they await the joy of waking up to Christmas morning.

Well…not all of them are asleep.

Raquel had a silly smile on her face as she gently placed a kiss on the mop of black hair that is currently rested in the crook of her neck. Sergio rested his head on her neck and chest, his scruffy beard scratching her slightly as he breathed in her scent deeply without moving too much, as if afraid to disturb or break the delicate and intimate moment. They lay in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company and the security of being in each other’s embrace. 

For a moment, Sergio pondered about the way that his life is right now and could not believe his sheer luck. During some of his darker nights, he would have difficulty believing any of this is real. But tonight, held gently yet firmly in Raquel’s embrace, he felt light-headed with love and confident that this is reality and not just a lovesick dream. 

Merely a year ago, he had spent a year in Palawan restlessly and desperately waiting for Raquel, tormented every single day when she does not turn up at the bar. It was pure torture, a punishment set by the universe for his deceit and lies that ultimately hurt Raquel and destroyed her life. When he first arrived on the island, he was still able function as he was driven by the strong motivation of creating a loving and wonderful home to welcome the love of his life. But reality slowly sank in as weeks and months had passed and no one came. He quickly fell into a pit of despair that on his best days, left him crippled on his bed, awake but paralysed by the immense sense of despair in his heart. And on his worst days, he slept for days on end, living purely through his dreams of Raquel and the brief moments they had together during the Heist.

On that very Christmas, he drank so much to drown out his sorrow that he collapsed in his own home and awoke alone again surrounded in his puke the next day, a stinging reminder that he has nobody in his life that cared about him. And that he is alone in this world.

But it all does not matter now. For she is here.

And so is Paula. And Marivi.

And so tonight, he did what he had learnt to do during the past one year with the encouragement of Raquel and displayed his vulnerabilities openly. Gently, he pushed his head even deeper into the crook of her neck and held her even tight to him. Sensing his sentimentality and bittersweet joy, Raquel embraced him even more tightly with one hand and stroke his hair with the other.

“You know we are here now, and will be here with you forever right, mi amor?” Raquel whispered softly into his ear, caressing his hair slowly.

Sergio grunted in acknowledgement and nodded slightly, not knowing how to express his feelings or gratitude.

“Though, you really have went overboard this year with the presents for Paula you know. I swear, we are going to bring up a monster if this goes on and I reckon it’s all your fault” chuckled Raquel lowly.

Sergio smiled into her chest.

“Well, at least she will be our monster. Our cute little Paulita monster.”

“I will quote this back to you in future arguments, mister. Mark my words”

Sergio laughed out loud and felt his tight chest loosen. Feeling peace and serenity encircle his entire being, he looked up from Raquel’s embrace and shifted upwards to place a deep kiss on her lips. They sighed as they sink into the kiss and as they separate, they fell into a deep peaceful slumber in each other’s embrace.


	2. Para Mi Amor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a cozy morning with Sergio and Paula, Raquel chanced upon a familiar looking Red Envelope and postcards which took her down memory lane. This chapter exposes a little of Sergio's point of view of their time without each other during the one year before Raquel found the coordinates in the form of postcards written for Raquel. Hope you guys enjoy it!

Raquel woke to the feeling of the bed beside her sinking in and the sound of tiny peals of giggles. Opening an eye in amusement to take a peek, she confirmed her suspicion when the sight of two mops of hair on her bed greeted her. Not wanting to ruin their moment together, Raquel did not make a sound and continued pretending that she’s still asleep. 

“Shall we wake Mama up? Or should we let her sleep in?” Came Sergio’s gentle baritone voice.

“Wake her up! No wait, let’s scare her!” Giggled Paula, unaware of how loud she’s being.

“Okay, let’s do it in the count of 3 alright? 1,2-"

“BOOOO” Raquel shrieked, launching herself at the two of them without a warning.

Paula screamed in a mixture of fright and joy and Raquel swore she caught a look of raw shock and surprise on Sergio’s face before they all fell into peals of laughter and collapsed on the bed. Now Raquel could see that Paula is huddled in Sergio’s chest, her favourite little blue dog plushie safely tucked into the blanket beside her and Sergio. Rising to kiss both her darlings good morning, she settled back into her pillow sleepily, but still keeping her eyes on both of them and unable to wipe the massive grin off her face. 

It was amazing to see Paula and Sergio bonding like this. Initially, Sergio was extremely hesitant and almost afraid of communicating and bonding with Paula. Whilst he had expressed great interest in being a dad to Paula and was excited to have a child to love, he was convinced, even before Paula and Marivi arrived on the island, that the girl would not like him.

“All kids hate me, Raquel. They find me awkward and lame. I have no topics to entertain them with.” mumbled Sergio, looking forlorn whilst desperately trying to explain why it would not work out one night during a discussion. With constant reassurance and comforting, Raquel slowly persuaded Sergio to not feel pressurised about his performance and simply enjoy the moment of being with Paula. 

However, it did not work out right away from the beginning. Paula was a sensitive child who could feel Sergio’s hesitance to be in her company and she quickly drew away from him after arriving at the island. Hurt by Paula’s disappearance and unwillingness to be with him, Sergio almost withdrew completely from hanging out with the family and only came out to be in Paula’s presence when Raquel or Marivi is there too. 

Very slowly but surely, with family activities such as seashell picking at the beach, building sandcastles and reading bedtime stories together, Paula open up to Sergio bit by bit. And now, Sergio has practically made it a weekend routine to wake Paula up by blowing raspberries on her tummy, showering her with kisses and carrying her to the kitchen where Raquel would be making pancakes every weekend. 

“Can we go for a walk? Abuela’s having a good day today.” 

“Of course, querida. Sergio, why don’t you make Mama and Paula some breakfast and I’ll join you guys in a moment? I wanted to clean up our bedroom, it’s been a little messy recently.”

“As you wish, mi amor. Join us soon.” Sergio carried Paula once again and planted a brief kiss on Raquel’s lips (which drew an “Eeeww” from Paula) and set off for the kitchen.

* * *

Within a blink of an eye, the half-an-hour Raquel has given herself to clean flew pass. As Raquel finished dusting the shelves and cleaning up her vanity, she came across the little wooden chest box which she kept the postcards Sergio had given her on the top right-hand corner of their shared bookshelf. 

With a great sense of nostalgia and love flooding her being, Raquel reached out to grab the little wooden chest box but a red envelope fell from beside the box instead. Alarmed, she instantly grabbed the letter so it would not fall and found it to be the red envelope given to her by Sergio at the café. No wait. It is not. It looks identical. But instead of “Raquel Murillo” written on the front of it, “Para Mi Amor” was written in cursive font.

A sudden sense of curiosity gripped her. Should she open it? But no, Raquel decided against it. They have a respectful relationship and she planned to keep it that way. She can ask him about it tonight.

“Open it.” Sergio implored quietly, Raquel turning around to find his gentle eyes set upon her. In her moment of curiosity and surprise, it seemed that she did not hear Sergio knock and enter the room in search of why she was still not at the breakfast table. 

“Are you sure? What is it?” 

“They are postcards I’ve written to you during the one year in Palawan before you came. And of course I’m sure. They are meant for you in the first place. But I did not have the guts to send them to you in fear that you have already rejected me. I know I may not be the best at expressing my emotions on a day-to-day basis, so I want you to read them to know that my feelings for you are true. Join us in fifteen minutes okay, our daughter can’t wait to go on a walk.” With a gentle smile and after placing a slow and soft kiss on her lips, Sergio left her once again to read the postcards in privacy.

In the burgundy red envelope beautifully titled “Para Mi Amor”, Raquel found a thick stack of postcards and decided to take out the first three that she saw, deciding that that is all she had time for today. Slowly, she turned the cards over and saw that all of them were different sights at Palawan. With her breathe caught in her chest unconsciously, she read the messages written in the same beautiful cursive font.

* * *

Raquel Mi Amor,  
I don’t know how to start this letter but I decided I just have to. I do not know how to contain all these emotions inside of me anymore. How are you? Are you well? I wonder about you every single moment of life, awake or asleep. It has only been a week since the heist happened, and I have not stopped thinking about you. I think of you when I am meeting the contractors to design this house for our future family, when I am choosing the furniture, when I sit at the bar in hopes to see you again and when I dream. And it has also come to my attention how much havoc and destruction I have rained upon your life through my selfish actions. I do not know how to even begin apologising. And I plan to do it when I am face-to-face with you. That is the minimum you deserve. But all I know is, I am too deeply in love with you that I no longer fear the anger, consequences or backlash as long as you are here with me. Will you ever forgive me? Andres would kill to see me this lovesick. Have you found the coordinates on the postcards? Only time would tell. Till then, I will keep dreaming of you. Te Amo.   
Eternally yours,  
Sergio

* * *

Raquel Mi Amor,  
What are you doing in this very moment? Are you, Paula and Marivi well? These postcards are too small for me to adequately pen my feelings, but let’s just say I have never felt a tirade of emotions as strong as my love for you. I have never been like that in my whole life, but this is the best thing to have ever happened to me. I used to think that emotions are irrational and troublesome and I was half right. They are irrational but they leave me feeling so alive. Even though you are a thousand miles away from me, every moment that is filled with memories of you is the sweetest moment of my life. I feel silly and shy writing all of these but I also find that they don’t even adequately express a quarter of the things I wish to share with you every single day. I wonder if you will ever forgive me for what I have done. Please come to Palawan soon, the days have been becoming more sorrowful and hopeless without you. And our house is ready to welcome you, Paula and Marivi. I dream of becoming a husband, a father and a son-in-law everyday. Till then, I will always remember your joyful smile. Te Amo.   
Eternally yours,  
Sergio

* * *

Raquel Mi Amor,  
Why aren’t you here? Have you given up on me, on us? Is it because of what I’ve done? Because I don’t know how long more I can cling on to hope anymore. It’s been a year. The longest, loneliest year of my introverted life. I cannot even begin to describe my sorrow and my guilt for everything that I have ever done to you. I recently looked up news on you, Paula, Marivi and Alberto and was horrified at all the charges and cases the brought up against you directly after the heist. If only I knew of this earlier, I would have intercepted immediately and brought you here. If you are willing, of course. But due to my sheer cowardice and lack of initiative, I did not know of the full extent of your suffering till now. I guess I deserve to have this as my Christmas present. And I guess you probably have already found my coordinates but chose not to come. It kills me to think about it, but I understand and I accept it. It is what I deserve. To think that just months ago, I was dreaming that we will be a family together and that we might even welcome a child of our own. This shall be my last postcard, I suppose. I do not deserve the joy of writing to you. May you live a happy life free of my destruction and the pain I caused you. I love you Raquel, and always will. Till I die. Merry Christmas.  
Eternally yours,  
Sergio

* * *

With trembling hands, Raquel breathed out a heavy sigh and wiped the tears that have unconsciously rolled down her cheeks. Her heart was overwhelmed and heavy with emotions, but also light with the joy of finding out that they both loved and thought of each other throughout the past one year.

It made her realised that they had not truly sat down and discussed what had occurred during the year and come to terms with their emotions of longing, pining and missing one another. But that was a discussion for another day. For she had a walk to join. 

With the love of her life. And his love is all she needs.


	3. Sergio's Day with Paula

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sergio woke up to a wonderful,serene day in Paradise with Raquel and family. But trouble soon arise as Paula was afraid of her first day of school and frustrated about having to adapt to so many changes in her life. Through being there for her and comforting her, Sergio bonded with Paula and gained a new perspective about what's it like to be a father. And more so than ever, he is sure he is ready to be a father again.

Sergio woke up to the warmth of having Raquel snugly wrapped in his arms. What a sight to wake up to. He dreamily smiled at the way her face is so serene when she’s asleep, the way her mouth is slightly agape and the way her hands are resting on his chest, as if she wants to be as near to him as much as he wants to be snugly wrapped with her. 

With their bodies toasty warm and wrapped tightly under their blanket and in soft sheets, Sergio sighed in contentment and felt as if he is living in paradise every single day. Perfectly satisfied to simply continue laying in bed and feeling his love’s warm breath on his chest, Sergio pressed a gentle kiss on Raquel’s hair before sinking deep into the sheets and trying to fall back asleep.

Sergio could not recall having such raw, intimate and precious moments with anybody for a very long time now. Well yes, with a fond smile, he did recall of old memories where he would sleep in his parent’s bed, safely tucked in between the both of them after running into their bedroom after a horrible nightmare. Or at least that was his true reason the first-time round. Subsequently, he never did have much nightmares but still chose to sleep with his parents just to feel their warmth and protection. He remembered how his father would snore lightly whilst his mother would always have her arms around him, always being there for him and being protective of him. But it has been a long time since someone hugged him, held him tight and made him feel safe and loved in this world.

Thinking back, before his illness ravaged his young body and rendered him almost paralysed on a hospital bed for the vast majority of his youth, he did have a fairy tale of a childhood when he was young. His parents did everything to make him a happy child, whether he was ill or not. Holding his hand on first days of school, picnics in beautiful flower fields, rewarding him with treats for being brave and going to a dentist appointment, showering him with gifts and encouragement at every step of the way; his parents were undoubtedly unconditional in their love, support and acceptance of him throughout his life. Even after he was diagnosed with that terrible illness, his parents were determined to give him as happy and as normal of a childhood as possible and brought books and clowns and cakes to his bedside.

And that’s why Sergio is so attached and loyal to his family. Why he was so determined to carry out the heist in his father’s name. 

Glancing sideways at Raquel who is in deep slumber in his arms, a sudden though entered his mind.

“I would be as wonderful of a father to our child.”

Our child? Sergio startled himself. That was a thought that has not entered his mind in a while. Of course, Paula is also their child. But he also thought of having a child that’s the fruit of love of him and Raquel. Quite frankly, whilst it is an incredibly romantic idea and he definitely wanted to have a child with Raquel (thought about it quite a few times in the year they were separated), they somehow never got around to discussing this topic. In fact, he was very satisfied with learning to become a better father to Paula every single day. It was not something that came naturally to his awkward self to say the least but the sudden love and adoration that rushed through him whenever he is with her made it much easier. 

Noting to himself that perhaps he should confront Raquel about having a child someday soon, Sergio felt himself succumb to the call of slumber and fell into a sweet and deep sleep beside Raquel.

* * *

“Mi amor? Are you awake?” 

Sergio grunted unconsciously, still deep in his sleep.

He felt a warm pair of hands rubbed his chest lovingly, trying to shrug him out of his sleep as gently as possible. Grumpily, he opened an eye to find Raquel smiling at him.

“It’s Paula’s first day of school remember? And you said you wanted to be there for her and walk her to school. We need to get ready soon.”

Sergio was suddenly alert and awake. Of course! It’s Paula’s first day of school at a local school that they have chosen after much research and he had sworn that he would be there for the girl, every step of the way. After crawling out of bed and getting ready alongside Raquel, he walked into the living room to find a sad-looking Paula sitting at the breakfast table with Marivi.

“Ah, here you guys are! Our little Paulita is having a hard time this morning.” Greeted Marivi.

“Aww what’s wrong mi hija? Are you worried about school? Mama told you Mama and Papa and Abuela will be there with you right? Raquel comforted Paula, caressing her face tenderly.

“Exactly darling, we will all be going to your school together with you remember?” Sergio chimed in warmly.

But all these did nothing to comfort Paula. With her mouth wobbling uncontrollable and tears pouring out of her eyes, she let out a sob before running out into the front porch facing the sea.

Both Raquel and Marivi got up in alarm and was about to follow Paula into the porch when Sergio stopped them gently.

“Let me try talking to her okay? I’ll go see if she’s okay.”

* * *

Sergio walked out in the porch quietly to find Paula with her knees up and arms hugging them tightly as if they would protect her from the world. Approaching her slowly and gently hugging her from behind, Sergio placed Paula on his lap and spoke gently beside her ear.

“Paulita, can you tell Papa what’s wrong? Everybody’s worried about you.” Sergio probed, his voice low and comforting.

Paula shook her head and did not speak for a very long moment.

“Is it because of school? Can you tell Papa that so I can help you solve the problem?”

Paula nodded her head in confirmation before breaking into greater sobs that shook her chest. Sergio placed his hands on her chest and rubbed her comfortingly whilst holding her tightly.

“It’s school. And it’s everything. Everything is wrong. I hate everything. Why must everything in my life change?” Paula sobbed incoherently, her voice wobbling in fear and sorrow.

Sergio hummed gently into the crook of her shoulders and continued holding her tight.

“I know it’s hard darling, but everybody is here to go through it together with you. I’m sorry everything had to change for you in a short period of time, but I promise you we are always here for you. Mama and Papa will always walk you to school and wait for you at the school gates. Abuela will always be here with you in the afternoons after school where you guys can make arts and crafts together all day. Does that make you feel better?”

Paula sobbed but nodded slightly.

“But Papa, everything is so scary. I’m scared. And I miss my friends. I don’t want to have to be the new kid. Why can’t I be with my friends in Madrid? First Mama said I need to be brave and that I will love it here in Palawan, now you guys say I have to brave and I will like school. I hate having to be brave for everything!” Paula cried uncontrollably, turning around to sob into Sergio’s chest.

Sergio’s heart broke seeing Paula like that. The cheerful and inquisitive girl was always positive and playful and rarely cried. It must be affecting her incredibly much for her to cry like that and she must have hidden her true feelings from her family in order to put on a brave front. And it’s all Sergio’s fault. Sergio’s actions led to Raquel having to relocate her family to Palawan in order to be with him. He must be the one to fix this.

“You know what Paula? Love fixes all things in life, including fear. I know it doesn’t seem like that now and that all these changes must be so difficult for you, but I promise you it will get better. Because there will be lovely kids in school. You will slowly but surely make friends who will play with you all day long. And at the end of the day, you will forever have Abuela’s, Mama’s and my love. Forever. You know how I know that? Because it is your love, your Mama’s love and your Abuela’s love that saved my life. And made this place my home.”

Paula’s sobbed eventually lessen and she looked up at Sergio with puffy eyes.

“You’re scared too?”

“Oh, definitely. I couldn’t have done this all without all of you. Without you guys, I was terrified and lonely on this island. But when you all arrived in my life, I found colour in my life once again. You completed my life and chased my fears away. You are not alone in this Paula.” Reassured Sergio lovingly.

The girl nodded sombrely. Sensing that’s she’s feeling slightly better, Sergio pressed a long and gentle kiss on her forehead and decided to take on a lighter, cheerful tone.

“How about this? Your mama, Abuela and I will walk you together to school now okay? And when your class ends, we will be there at the school gates and we will all go for some ice-cream alright? How does that sound?” Sergio smiled cheekily at the girl, hoping for a smile.

“You promise?”

“Um-hmm. With my life, okay? And we will continue to be there for you at the school gates every single day.”

A smile slowly appeared on the crying girl’s face and she got up excitedly. She took Sergio’s hand and together they walked into the living room, ready to face the challenges of the day.

But what Paula doesn’t know is that she made Sergio’s day. Sergio was beaming with pride and affection for his daughter’s innocence and bravery. And that he could be there for her.

And more importantly, Sergio was sure, more than ever, that he is ready to be a father again.


	4. Our Childhoods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a cool serene evening, after a warm family dinner, Sergio and Raquel find themselves on the front porch discussing about their past and their childhoods. And soon, that led to another topic too. Hope you guys like it!

The sun was setting in the once cyan blue sky, leaving a stripe of burnt orange across the horizon that separates the heavens from the ocean. The evening brought cool winds to the island, signifying the arrival of the night. The Marquina-Murillo family was just settling down and cleaning up after a cosy and chatty dinner where Paula shared with Marivi and Raquel the different types of origami Sergio has taught her to fold. Turns out, the little girl was very interested in Sergio’s hobby and had learnt the new skill relatively quickly. Raquel beamed proudly at Sergio, glad that they got to bond throughout the afternoon today.

“Paula, why don’t you and Papa both do the dishes since Abuela and I did the cooking today?” Raquel suggested, trying to instil a sense of responsibility in the child at an early stage. 

“Okay!” Paula chirped, finding that she enjoys her time with Sergio.

* * *

Later that night, Sergio found Raquel sitting on the sofa at their front porch, listening to the sound of the crashing waves that Sergio knows help calm her down. Her hair fluttered in the cold evening air and Sergio thought she never looked more beautiful. Going to their bedroom, Sergio fetched a warm and cosy blanket before settling down beside her.

“Stunning, isn’t it?”

“The view? Well yes but not as stunning as my wife.” 

Raquel chuckled. “Sometimes, I almost can’t believe that I’m truly here with you, Sergio. It feels like a dream that is too sweet, too beautiful. But feeling the sand under my feet and the wind in my face, I know I’m truly here now, safe and forever away from my chaotic life in Madrid. Can’t believe that that was once my reality.”

“Of course this is real, mi amor. I’ll never let reality be otherwise.”

“Do you think what I did is right, relocating Paula here? I know I saved her from Alberto, but am I ruining her childhood? I know living here is a blessing for my mother and me, but what will happen to Paula’s future?”

Sergio was silent for a moment. And then he tucked Raquel deeper into the blanket before wrapping his arms around her.

“Raquel, all I know is that Paula will receive love like she’s never received before. That she will have wonderful memories of playing with her abuela under the sun. And memories of her mother waiting for her at the school gates, something she never got to experience when you were overwhelmed in Madrid. She will remember of peaceful days on the beach and happy, playful days with you where she can sense that you truly are no longer stressed out and abused. That’s all I know.” 

“Mm, and that’s all any child needs right?”

“Yes, darling.”

They were silent for a moment, enjoying the pure serenity of the evening.

“You know, Sergio, we never chat about our childhood.”

“Let’s start with you then.” Sergio cheekily responded, his grin emphasising the deep dimples in his cheeks.

“Fine. Well, to start off, my dad was a police officer. But he had an artistic, free-spirited side. All throughout my childhood, I remembered spending weekends and afternoons after school painting with him, making DIY presents together to surprise my mum and also fishing. Fishing wasn’t my favourite thing to do with him but I was glad to have quiet afternoons with him where he can share all his wisdom and thoughts with me. It was something I cherished deeply because his duties as a police officer meant that his time at home with us was irregular and unpredictable. But then now I just realised, I grew up and did the same thing to Paula.”

“It’s not your fault, mi amor. And look, you have wonderful memories of times spent with your father. Which means that Paula also probably had a wonderful time with you even when you were an Inspector. There’s nothing wrong with working hard to feed your family you know?”

“Mm true, but enough about me. Tell me about your childhood Sergio.”

“Well, to begin with, there was my father, my mother, me and Andres. Andres was my step-brother from my mother’s first marriage, where Andres’ father was an irresponsible man who did not care to take care of his family at all. My mother had the sense to leave him quickly and soon fell in love with my father. And a few years later, they had me.” 

Sergio paused for a moment before continuing, his voice deep and dreamy as if recalling a time so very long ago.

“In contrast to what most people would believe, I had a happy childhood. We lead a simple life but it was one filled with love and warmth. My father worked as a postman and on the side, he too had artistic hobbies. He would paint; he was a very good painter. In fact, he won multiple competitions in our city and his art pieces are often sold for a pretty penny. Aside from that, he like to read, write poems and take care of our pet lovebirds. My mother, on the other hand, was an extremely intelligent woman. As she was taking care of me and Andres, she was also pursuing her PhD in Psychology, specialising in early childhood psychology. In fact, she published a paper on how the deprivation of love and parental figures in a child’s growing stage affects their ability to develop normal socialising skills and their ability to express and identify emotions.”

“Ironic, isn’t it?” Raquel poked.

“Hey! What do you mean!” squealed Sergio.

“Nah, I was just kidding, mi amor. I love you and your awkwardness. Please continue.”

Sergio gave Raquel a mock annoyed side-eye before holding his head up high and continuing.

“Throughout my childhood, my family was extremely close-knitted and my parents were always there for me and Andres. They always took extra care to pamper me more because I have always been the softer, shy kid that needed more encouragement. I remember afternoons baking with my mother, her whistling songs as the cookies are being baked, her playing the piano and us driving to the small towns on the weekends for a family holiday. It was her who taught me how to play the piano, actually. Andres loved the piano but was never interested in learning how to play it. He cared more about paintings, like my dad. My father was a huge romantic too, he would secretly learn to play songs on the piano on the evenings when my mother would be having night classes to complete her PhD studies and play them for her during their nights off. I can never forget the atmosphere of love in our family.”

“Subsequently, a series of unfortunate events struck our family. It was as if we were cursed with bad luck. When my mother had a miscarriage and we lost our baby sister, it was in the hospital during check-ups that doctors found she had a rare genetic disorder. The illness ate away quickly at her and she passed within six months. It was incredibly shocking for our family. But my parents still put on a brave and happy front and was very loving towards Andres and I, never letting the illness disturb our day-to-day lives. Before she passed, she also reminded us to live life joyously, carefreely and with kindness. It was a lesson I will forever remember.”

“Next, I fell very ill. My father was fearful that it was the same genetic disease that took my mother, but thankfully it wasn’t. It wasn’t a terminal disease, but it was one that kept me bed-ridden for many years, so lethargic and weak that I could not even hold a glass of water at times. It was then when my father realised that his postman’s income could not pay for my treatments. In a bid to save my life and get me healthy again, he carried out some heists without me or my brother’s knowledge. And you know what happened in the end. And so from then on, Andres and I relied on each other to survive. We were only 19 and 14 respectively.”

“Oh Sergio…I’m so sorry. I really am. But I’m so incredibly glad to hear that your family was so loving and joyful before everything happened.”

“Me too, Raquel, me too.” 

“Well, we have our own happy family now too, don’t we? We are wonderful parents to Paula and I’m so grateful to have this opportunity to spend so much time with my mother. Her condition has been getting better too ever since she came here.”

“Yes, we do. I love our family so so much, I don’t even know how express it.” Sergio agreed, beaming at Raquel with a look of pure affection and love on his face.

“But what? I can sense a but in your sentence Sergio.”

Suddenly, Sergio released his arms that were around Raquel and turned to look her earnestly in the eyes. Sensing they are having a serious moment, Raquel sat up straighter naturally.

“But don’t you think our family can be bigger? Like…Like we can have another child?”

“A baby?” She was taken aback by Sergio’s sudden change of topic. “Well…to be honest Sergio, I would absolutely love for us to have a baby together. I just thought you wouldn’t want one.”

“No, I’ve wanted one ever since I laid my eyes on you Raquel. You understand me. You complete me. And I want us to have a baby together. But of course, I needed to ask for your opinions.”

“But Sergio… I need to be frank. I am completely, absolutely in love with the idea of us having a baby. It’s just that… having Paula was traumatic to say the least. The pregnancy was difficult and dangerous, the birth was strenuous, extremely painful and traumatic and Alberto wasn’t even there. He never was. I have horrible memories of that time. I just don't know if I can go through that again.”

Sergio’s eyes widened in shock and he swiftly wrapped his arms around Raquel and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Oh my god, Raquel. I never knew it was so bad for you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. But I promise if you want to have a child with me, I will be there every step of the way. You won’t even be allowed to walk on your own two feet or get a glass of water okay? I swear on my life, I will never let you suffer a single moment throughout the pregnancy. And that I will be there for you during the birth and to witness the arrival of our baby. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time. I won’t pressure you to say yes, nor will I pressure us to try for one now. But I’m simply suggesting it, just in case you want to have one in the future.”

Raquel pressed her face onto Sergio’s chest and snuggled even closer to him, her sad frown still there but threatening to turn into a small smile.

“Okay, I’m not making any promises now Sergio. But I’ll think about it. But only if you promise you will truly be there with me for everything.”

“Deal. I love you.”

And with that, Sergio carried the blanket-wrapped Raquel back to their bedroom and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	5. Who Am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Sergio and Raquel settles down for the night, Raquel sensed that Sergio is troubled. This brings them to a late-night conversation where Sergio confronts and spills his confusion on who is he, after all that has happened in their lives, and whether or not he has betrayed his own values. Raquel, too, shares her side of the story and they comfort one another, concluding that they are all still themselves and that they've stuck to their core values to the best of their abilities. This is a short chapter filled with comfort and love. Hope you guys enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you all are having a good start to the new year! I decided to write a chapter confronting the core values that both Sergio and Raquel stick to as I believe they are both wonderfully strong characters on their own who complete one another when they became a couple. I enjoy both character's kindness, warmth, strength and values in general and also felt that their inner struggles are not as explored in the show. 
> 
> All comments are welcomed and I appreciate and love all your sweet comments and kudos. Thank you for your support and I can't wait to hear more from you guys <3

Raquel was still washing up in the master bedroom toilet when she heard the door creak open and Sergio’s familiar tempo of footsteps enter the bedroom. The footsteps continue till they suddenly stopped and Raquel heard the blanket being pulled from their bed and a person, presumably Sergio, settling into their bed heavily. Finishing up her brief skincare routine, Raquel stepped out of the toilet, ready for bedtime. 

Upon opening the door, Raquel saw that Sergio was already lying down on the left side of the bed, his back against the sheets whilst he faced the ceiling. His hair was ruffled just the way she loved it to be. Just as he heard her door swing open, his gaze fell upon her and for a moment, the two of them just gazed deeply into each other’s eyes, their eyes full of affection. Sergio’s emotionless face broke into a tender smile that creased the side of his eyes and he gave a gentle beckon for her to come to bed, patting the sheets right next to him.

“You’re ready for bed early tonight, mi amor.” Raquel smiled as she crawled into the sheets and tucked herself into Sergio’s side and arms, taking in a deep breath of his scent.

Sergio turned himself to look even more deeply into her eyes, staying silent for a moment, only giving a mumble as a response to her statement.

“Sergio. I can tell something’s bothering you. What is it?” Raquel started rubbing her palms against Sergio’s chest in comforting circles, placing her face deeper into the crook of his neck, assuring him with her body.

Slowly, Raquel felt Sergio’s coarser and larger hands wrapped hers tightly, pressing their hands tightly to his chest. He began speaking, his voice full of vulnerability and confusion. 

“I’ve been thinking, Raquel. For many a days. In my study, when you guys are busy with your activities. I thought that some alone time would suffice and after reflecting or journaling my thoughts it would all go away. But it didn’t Raquel. I’m so lost. I need to say it out to you.” 

“And that’s exactly what I’m here for, mi amor. Remember what we talked about? Communication, vulnerability and respect is the foundation to our relationship. I love you for everything that you are, darling. And that includes your doubts, insecurities and shortcomings. Because I know you accept and love me unconditionally too. So don’t be shy with me, spill.” Raquel continued, planting a kiss on his cheeks before looking at him attentively, showing him that he has all her attention.

“Well... to be frank, I can’t even begin to summarise what has been bothering me, mi amor.” He sighed. “It started in the nights when I couldn’t fall asleep, all these thoughts swarmed me. I couldn’t shake them off for my life. Andres’ death, that his absence would be forever, Oslo’s and Moscow’s death, me missing the band members as they feel like family to me now, guilt for ruining your life and lying and hurting you. At first, I thought it was a matter of there being too much change in my life in a short period of time Raquel. And it’s not as if these dark thoughts did not bother me when I was alone waiting for you in Palawan. But I guess because I was still clinging on to the hope to see you again, I had something to look forward to in my days.”

He took a shuddering breath before continuing, his voice shaking slightly. 

“But now that my life is more perfect than it has ever been Raquel, these thoughts suddenly bombarded me. And I managed to conclude a single common factor in all that haunts me. It’s the big question of Who am I. Who am I, Raquel? Am I still myself? The very same Sergio as the one before the heist? And don’t get me wrong, I love and accept myself. I am confident in my positive attributes. Afterall, I’m a guy in his forties, I hardly think this is a matter of insecurity. But am I still a good person, if I caused Andres’, Moscow’s and Oslo’s death? And I still a morally upright and caring lover if I had hurt you darling? Am I still my introverted self, if I’m always putting myself out there and being the best husband, father and son-in-law that I can be every single day? The thing is, Raquel, I had led quite a monotonous life before all of this happened. In the forty years of my life, I accepted myself and have always taken pride in being my own person and hence I don’t regret the path of life I’ve chosen. People might frown upon me and think that I don’t have a life, that I’m boring and that I am bad with social interactions but I am not ashamed of who I am. But now, I am no longer sure that I’m a good husband to you, a morally upright person or even the same Sergio anymore. I’m not sure I’m true to my values anymore.”

A comfortable silence hung in the air as Raquel digested what Sergio had said to her. This time, she removed one of her hands from his grip and caressed his cheek tenderly, turning him to face her.

“Hmm you know what, cariño? I asked myself the same question every single day. In fact, it’s a relief to hear that you face the same things too. Do you know that in between calling you as Salva and negotiating with you as The Professor, my life was a wreck? I was crying after confronting Alberto about him taking my daughter out without consent, I was having panic attacks in ambulances and at carparks when I thought no one was watching after I got pushed around by my colleagues. In that two years of extreme stress, I often did a lot of things I am not necessarily sure were true to my nature but I knew I needed to do to survive. So who am I Sergio? Am I a strong woman if I was abused by my husband and was terrified of him? Am I a good mother, if I robbed Paula of a normal childhood so I could be here with my lover? Am I still a respectful, kind person, the kind I wish to be, if I had said harsh and snide remarks to my colleagues in defence of myself?”

“Of course you are, mi amor! You are the kindest, warmest, cutest and strongest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, don’t you ever doubt who you are!” Sergio rushed to gush.

Raquel chuckled. “Don’t you see, Sergio? We tend to see other people very clearly, but not ourselves. But to answer your question darling, whilst I don’t have a definitive answer on who we are, but all I know is we are still ourselves, the same child that is inside of us. The purest form of ourselves, untouched by the expectations and teachings of the world. But every now and then, we need to put on a mask or use a particular façade of us, to deal with the difficulties of reality. And that’s alright. That does not mean we have betrayed our values. I know how much these doubts must have hurt you darling, we are both idealists trying to find our paths in this world. And these doubts will come and go throughout our lives. But at the end of the day, you are still my Sergio, and you are the very same kind, gentlemanly, compassionate and sweet Sergio I knew from the heist.” 

Before Raquel could even turn her face to see the expression on Sergio’s face, she felt Sergio crash his lips into hers, taking her into a deep, long kiss. His arms wrapped even more protectively around her as he breathed into her mouth in between kisses, trying to convey his love and appreciation for her through a single kiss. When the kiss broke, Raquel looked into his eyes to see that they were filled with tears. 

“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, Raquel. But all I know is that you are a miracle, you understand me and you speak to my heart. I just know I need you in my life. Te quiero mucho, mi amor.” Sergio whispered.

“And you complete my life and my heart too, cariño. More than I can express using words. Te amo, Sergio. Now let’s get you some good night’s rest alright?”

And that very night, Sergio had the sweetest dreams of his life in the loving arms and warm embrace of Raquel Murillo.


	6. Happy Birthday, Mi Amor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sergio woke up on his birthday to the most gentle and loving surprise, Raquel. After a sweet conversation lying in bed, they proceeded to spend the day celebrating under the sun with Marivi and Paula. And to end the night, Sergio found a handmade birthday gift in the form of a tiny wooden chest and a loving card. This is a one-shot on Sergio's simple but wonderful birthday with the family at Palawan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, how have you all been? Thank you for all the wonderful support and comments you guys have shown me and I appreciate each and every comment and kudos you all leave behind. Even though times have been tough for me, writing these one-shots have brought me great joy. And I hope they bring joy to you too. Enjoy!

Sergio was pulled from a sweet dream he could not recall and into the real world when a pair of soft hands covered his eyes gently. In the darkness, he heard Raquel giggling. Even though he was not fond of surprises, his face broke into a wide grin and he felt Raquel press a gentle but deep kiss onto his lips.

“Happy Birthday, mi amor!” sang Raquel. He can hear the laughter in her voice.

“Mm, to what I owe this pleasure, darling? Waking up to a goddess every single day.” He answered with a laugh, feeling like his day is off to a great start.

“Hmm…let me think. Oh wait, you’re right. There’s nothing special on today. You don’t deserve this afterall.” Raquel said with mock nonchalance, removing her hands from his eyes.

No way he was going to let her get away with this, Sergio pushed himself up on the bed and pulled Raquel back into his tight embrace, breathing in the scent of her hair. 

“No, no, you’re not going to get away with this, mi amor. It’s my birthday and I deserve all the hugs and love I can get from mi mujer” he whispered gruffly into her ears, hugging her like she’s a teddy bear and swaying with her from side to side.

Sergio rubbed his beard across the side of her face, knowing she enjoys it when he does that. “And you know I won’t deny you that.” Raquel laughed, throwing herself into the hug full force and showering him with all the affection she has.

For a moment, they just stayed in each other’s embrace, neither willing to let go of the other. Sergio closed his eyes and willed the moment to be etched in his memory forever, breathing in her scent and relishing the feeling of her soft hair underneath his palms. The way she felt warm and soft and snug in his arms. The way he can feel her heartbeat beating gently against his chest, the way she made the whole world feel warm, bright and right. She made him into a teddy bear. And he is completely willing. This is heaven. Pure paradise. 

Still not letting go of Raquel, Sergio slowly and gently lowered the both of them back onto the soft warm sheets, careful to cushion her fall. Then using his right hand, he tucked the blanket around them, creating a warm cocoon of love.

“Mm, it’s not even my birthday and I feel like a princess. Tell me, what does the birthday boy want to do on his day?” Raquel smiled in her low, raspy voice.

Sergio raised an eyebrow and chuckled “Hmm, that’s easy to decide. You. I want you for myself the whole day. You’re not going to leave my embrace.”

“Oh I’m absolutely willing to be compliant, but then a certain little girl and grandma has been waiting to celebrate this day with you too. How about we go spend the day with them and then I’m all yours tonight?” teased Raquel, knowing he cannot resist her suggestive voice and also Paula’s and Marivi’s wish. 

Sergio grinned as if he was promised the greatest gift of all and pushed them both upright. “Alright, let’s go spend the day with our daughter and our mother!”

* * *

After spending a day at the beach right in front of their house having a picnic and swimming in the ocean, the close-knitted family was thoroughly exhausted. The picnic mat was still filled with delicious food Marivi and Paula had lovingly prepared this morning and all of them were tanned from an afternoon of eating, swimming and picking seashells. 

“Mi hijo, did you have a good birthday? You always don’t eat enough; you are so slim. Is it because my daughter tires you out every night?” Marivi teased. Sergio choked on his food and turned bright red in the face, his eyes darting between Marivi and Raquel, begging for help.

Raquel bent over in silent laughter whilst Paula looked very puzzled.

“What do you guys do at night? Why didn’t you ask me to join?” Her brows furrowed in disappointment and confusion.

“No, no, nothing happens at night, darling. Absolutely nothing except sleep. That’s what Mama and I do every night. That’s what Abuela meant.” Sergio stuttered, not at all convinced by his own lie. 

“So, did you have a good birthday, Papa?” Paula asked lovingly, climbing onto her father’s lap. 

“Of course! With my little girl, my wife and my mother, how could I not? And did you have fun today, darling?” Sergio nuzzled her sun-kissed nose, pressing a loving smooch on her cheeks.

“Hmm… well I’m a little disappointed that crab got away from us but yes! Your birthday is the best, Papa! I love you!” Paula squealed, pressing a kiss back onto Sergio’s cheeks. Surprised by the sudden sweet gesture of the girl, Sergio pulled Paula into a tight embrace and replied emotionally, “And I love you too, Paula. Papa love you so much.”

* * *

As the night ended and the family went back to their respective bedrooms, Raquel excused herself into the bathroom whilst Sergio put on his pyjamas. However, from the corner of his eyes, an object caught his eye. Walking to their shared vanity, Sergio saw that on the table sat a tiny wooden chest wrapped in burgundy satin ribbon with a card tucked into the neatly-tied ribbon. 

Curiously picking up the card, Sergio mumbled out the contents of the card, an enamoured smile plastered on his face. 

“My Dearest Sergio,  
Happy Birthday, mi amor. To set things straight, I love you. I love you so, so much. More than life itself. You are the light of my life, the reason why I feel safe, carefree and childlike again. You came into my life at the darkest moment of my life and showed me what unconditional love is. Your love and warmth poured colour into my life and gives me the ability to hope, knowing that angels like you exist in this world and are: loving, respectful, sweet, compassionate, idealistic, gentle, warm and pure. I love that you hold me tight in your embrace at night, I love waking up snugly tucked against your warm chest, I love hearing your deep baritone voice and your light-hearted carefree chuckle, I love your warmth, generosity and kindness, your protectiveness and righteousness and I love everything in your very being. Never in my life would I be able to imagine a day that I have to live without you, without your love. You are my life. And I love you. Happy Birthday, now take a peek into the chest. I made it for days where you’re feeling down or doubting yourself. I love you.

Love and hugs forever,

Your Raquel”

By the time Sergio was done with the note, his eyes were brimming with tears. He cannot fathom how lucky he is to have found his soulmate in Raquel and that she felt exactly the same way about him as the way he feels about her. Word for word. 

Already feeling very emotional and sentimental, he unclasped the lock of the chest to find it filled to the brim with tiny cards. Every card seemed to contain a message from Raquel, clearly written in her handwriting. Holding up some of the cards towards the source of light in their bedroom, he read out loud a few different messages with a chuckle.

“I love your nerdy glasses, don’t you ever dare change them.”

“If you feel unworthy or insecure, know that I would cross the ocean with my family a thousand times, across reincarnated lives, just to be with you.”

“Your quirky dance moves are the cutest, but only I deserve to see them and be dancing with you.”

“Having a hard day? Perhaps its because you should have never left my embrace. Now come back to me.”

“Feeling restless, not having anything to plan? Well, maybe work your paella recipe, I’m not sure it’s perfected yet. Just kidding, love you.”

Just as he finished reading these cards, he heard the bathroom door clicked open and immediately rushed to hug Raquel and pushed her down against the sheets. Raquel squealed in surprise but started laughing out loud when Sergio held her face and started pecking a series of kisses against her lips. 

“I love you.” Sergio confessed with a straight face, never wanting to hide his feelings when he is with Raquel. “Now shall we get the night started as you promised?”


	7. Meaning and Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sergio struggles with a vivid, horrendous nightmare and comes to terms that he cannot accept Andres' death. That Andres was the only person who ever truly and deepy understood and accepted him. Without his understanding and acceptance, Sergio admits that he feels disconnected to society and loses his hope and meaning to live for a tomorrow. He finds solace and comfort in Raquel, who promises that she will never replace Andres but she will also give him unconditional acceptance and understanding. Together, they find meaning and hope to recover from their traumas and lead a bonded life together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is a new chapter where I delve into Sergio's desire for deep connection and understanding. I thought that regardless of his confidence and self-love, everybody wishes to be truly seen for who they are and be accepted unconditionally. So it would be natural that Andres' death would be a significant trauma for Sergio. However, I thought it is not very explored how Raquel is such an importance person to Sergio emotionally. So I hope you guys enjoy! :) 
> 
> All comments and inputs/opinions are welcomed and appreciated! <3

Sergio woke up with a gasp, his fear so stark and vivid that his body shot up from his bed. He stayed panting, disorientated on what has just happened but aware that adrenaline and cortisol is pulsing through his entire being. He felt panic clawed at his throat, threatening to worsen the already bad panic attack. Involuntarily taking shallow and uneven breaths, he snapped his neck around to see Raquel sleeping peacefully beside him, completely unaware of what has occurred. 

Palawan. Of course. He is still at Palawan. Though at the moment, even though he knew logically he is at Paradise with the love of his life and that he is safe, all these facts did nothing to calm his racing heart. 

Still gasping for breath, Sergio clawed at the blankets, pulling them slightly upwards so that they cover more of his body, thinking that being wrapped in a thick blanket will make him feel more secure and protected from the fears and demons that are haunting him. But it did not alleviate anything. When Sergio kicked the covers away to try to see if being free of all these materials will help him breathe easier, it did nothing but to make him feel exposed and unsafe. Whatever he did, nothing is calming him down.

On the other side of the bed, the sudden movements of the blanket and covers woke Raquel up. She has been a light sleeper for a number of years now, partially due to her own trauma of being abused and partially because of Sergio’s nightmares and trauma. They all had their own demons, but they always faced everything together. And tonight was no different.

“Sergio, darling. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here, can you feel me? Feel my thumb rubbing against your knuckles, I’m real. You just had a nightmare; that’s not real. You’re safe and sound here, with me.” Raquel rushed to his side, rubbing comforting circles on his back whilst holding his hand tightly and firmly.

Sergio’s eyes darted around the room, to the bed and to his wife. Feeling her warmth by his side, her palms rubbing slow circles on his back and her hand gripping his tightly, he was relieved and comforted to some extent, and responded by squeezing her hands even more tightly.

“Tranquilo, tranquilo, everything is okay baby. Do you want to talk about it to me or do you want us to not talk about it?” She gently probed in her gentlest, softest voice, wanting to only provide the deepest comfort to him. She is now caressing his face with her palm and turning him so that he faced her and have his eyes on her.

Sergio took several deep breaths, still holding on to her hand for dear life. “I…I think I can’t talk about it now, but I do want to talk about it to you sometime soon. Can we get some fresh air please, I feel like I’m suffocating in this room.” He stuttered unevenly.

“Of course, of course we can darling. I will do everything for you, you know that right? Now let’s walk slowly to the porch okay? Will you feel better there with the fresh air?” 

“Mm… I’m not sure but we can give it a try. Nothing is helping me feel better except you. Yeah, I just need you with me now.” Sergio was still breathing heavily and he sunk himself deep into Raquel’s embrace. Raquel hugged him with a such a force, wanting to let him know he is absolutely safe and loved with her.

Gently, when they released the hug, Raquel tipped his face to face her again and looked into his brown, anxious eyes, searching for his signal that he is ready to walk to the porch with her. Taking in a deep breath and holding it for a few seconds, Sergio nodded silently and held her hand even more tightly as they walked, never leaving her side.

Once they reached the porch, Sergio found that the sound of the ocean’s wave gently crashing onto the shore slightly comforting, but that his anchor is still Raquel. Needing all the comfort he can get, he made her sit on his lap and hugged her entire being from behind.

“Take your time, mi amor. You don’t have to say a single thing if you don’t want to.” Raquel’s low voice grounded him to reality.

“No, I don’t feel ready to share. But at the same time, I’m dying to share it with you. Because only you truly see me and understand my heart. I need to get it out.” Sergio blurted out, knowing that his feelings are all over the place, but needing to say them out all the more.

“I…dreamt of Andres’ death again. And the pain is absolutely shocking, as fresh as the first time it really occurred in real life. I grieved so badly, so much, I wanted to die. Even now, in reality, I still feel like I can’t come to terms that Andres is gone Raquel. I love him so much, it’s impossible to me that he isn’t here with me anymore.”

Sergio took a deep breath before continuing. “The truth is I am still not okay that he is dead. I really can’t accept it. I’m not okay. I’m not okay. I know that with you here, I can bear the pain because I love you so much. And that when the daylight comes, I might also feel a little better. But it doesn’t go away Raquel. The moment you’re away, and the house is silent, or when the sun sets, my sorrow comes to haunt me.”

“The thing is, and I really need to say this out, Andres has been the only person who understood and cared for me for the past forty years. Without him popping by my house, celebrating birthdays and new years with me and anchoring me to reality, I felt like the world wouldn’t have noticed if I died, Raquel. I no longer have a deep connection with anybody. Now I’m not saying I was sad I was alone or that I wish I hung out more with people. Truth is, I don’t think I would have connected with most people and they wouldn’t accept me either. So I chose to focus my life’s purpose on the heist. But it doesn’t mean I never got lonely. Or wish that someone would understand me, deeply and absolutely.”

Raquel spoke up after a moment of silence. “Sergio. It’s my first time hearing about your loneliness and desire to be understood and to connect. And you know what, it’s a relief. To know that I’m getting to know the deepest, darkest, true version of you more and more. I know I cannot end your pain of losing someone that loved and understood you absolutely. But I can give you hope. Hope that you have me. And that if you allow me to, by telling me your every thought and feeling, I will understand and love you absolutely too. I will never replace Andres. But I can be a source of hope for you. That you are loved and understood and not alone, mi amor.” Raquel held him tight, whispering solace to his bowed face.

Numbly, Sergio nodded slightly, his smile not reaching his eyes. “All I wanted was to be loved and understood, but with complete acceptance and no judgement. And Andres gave me that. And I know you think you have not given me a solution. But mi amor, all I need is hope. And you being here gives me hope. Now I know I have a meaning, a reason to face tomorrow again.” Sergio wrapped both his hands tightly around Raquel’s waist, sinking his face into her hair and breathing in her scent. 

And it was hope and meaning, that slowly led Raquel and Sergio to a serene and peaceful life in Palawan, grounded by pure connection, acceptance and love.


End file.
